July 15, 2011

When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself.  When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.  ~ Eckhart Tolle

In the daily grind of modern life we get lost within our computers, cell phones, video games, and cubicles.  Four years ago while sitting at my desk working in a high paced, high stressed position as a Senior Account Executive for a major sub-prime mortgage lender, I nearly had a nervous breakdown.  I had lost myself in the world.  I remember just sitting there staring at my computer screen dreading the hard work that was spilling all over my desk.  Considering the economic conditions of the mortgage industry at that time, my interactions with people were not always positive.  I took a vow right then and there that I was going to pursue a new career.  I wanted to pursue a way of life that was more in line with who I was on the inside.

So I did.  And I learn more and more about myself every day.  Each client that comes into my vicinity is a huge blessing as I learn how to navigate the healing work I offer.  In school I was being taught that in order to give good bodywork I had to find my center and be grounded.  In theory it sounded good.  But in the chaos of raising kids, dying family members, financial crisis, and failed relationships, what in the world was stillness?   I was so used to having to rush from one activity to the next: swapping my student hat for the waitress hat for the mom hat then back to the student hat and oh yeah the kids need to eat…. oh wait, I don’t have any food in the fridge, quick put the waitress hat back on, go get money, go buy food, feed the family…  sleep.  Sleep?  Yeah, right.  What is that?  In the midst of all of life’s trials and tribulations I forgot how to self soothe.  I lost myself in the world.

I have struggled with finding this stillness, this empty yet fulfilling warmth that gently washes over my soul.  And this is precisely why I do what I do.  I find it while providing it.  I can feel the breath of my client become deep and slow, I can feel it when they finally give in to the relaxation and allow the stresses of life to be released out into the Universe.  The delicious nothingness of being at peace.  And within this nothingness we are reminded of who we are.

Who are you in this world?  Do you know?  Are you able to float in the stillness long enough to find out?







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